The time has come for us to arise as a nation into that future we had all waited to see, that future we had envisioned many years back but never had opportunity to see its reality. Today, we are jumping off that illusion band wagon into the present possibilities of now.
On this day, I offer myself to a merit driven service as president of our great nation. I am just twenty-five and bubbling with life, an avid traveler to distant Europe, America and Asia, learned in the schools of reputable leadership tutors such as Abraham Lincoln, Lenin, Gandhi, etc, pragmatic and optimistic.
I may be young and that’s what we need because the future belongs to the young. For those who doubt my capacity, let me assure you that over this head are twenty five solid years of leadership.
I began leadership from my mother’s womb ensuring she was on track every time she left track, deciding when I had to make my grand entry into earth. When I stepped into earth, I made a choice over what I did deciding for my parents rather than them deciding for me. I was undaunted each time my family, friends and acquaintances pictured me as stubborn because I was indeed developing the strong tenacity and courage that characterizes leaders.
When at nursery school I captained my class, everyone thought it was fluke. They assumed that I was only bullying my way over the other kids but I managed to remain my class’s captain through every class and then as head boy of my primary school. It was no fluke.
I jumped into secondary school and the cycle continued. I was class captain in every class through junior secondary and senior secondary culminating as head boy. It was no fluke.
Getting into university was no mince meat but when I did get in, again but this time around as class representative. So I doctored and mauled my class through my system of thoughts and leadership becoming departmental, faculty and SUG presidents consecutively. I became NANS president after school and have since journeyed the world developing my own school of thought, you can call it “grandeurial epitopstic leadership.” Don’t ask me what it means.
I had my six days master degree in leadership from the Grande Oxford school of leadership, only the fourth to have being mastered through that school of over five hundred years history. Don’t ask me why.
Obtaining my doctorate in mercurial leadership from Cambridge Lambaste Leadership School was mince meat. It took me half the time I spent during my masters. I am currently a fellow in over 200 leadership institutions across the world and professor in twice that number of universities across the world. You may ask me how I lecture my students. Well, I don’t have to; my numerous videos take my place.
I am young and vibrant, popular with the youths who have not had, ever, a quality representative in my mould to meet their yearnings.
Don’t mind those babas. They have ruled us over and over and have nothing to show. We will push them out this time. Tell the man, that old man, who is nearing the grave that we want fresh ideas, people in their twenties and early thirties, our sons and daughters who have dreams and aspiration. We are tired of visions of our founding fathers that will forever be visions. We want dreams that will arrive tomorrow when we wake. That is what I am offering, dreams.
I don’t need Nigeria’s money. I am already wealthier than Nigeria; imagine how much my brain is worth. I won’t need to steal our nation’s wealth; I make 200 million dollars everyday from my books and videos which reach over 50 million students all over the world.
I am the divide between yesterday and tomorrow and you can be rest assured you and your children will enjoy the benefits of my kind of evolution. For those who may be wondering what I am offering on the table, in me is a de-tribalized patriot, non partisan and non neo-religious. I am the kind of leader our nation needs.
I hate corruption. Tell those policemen that the game is up. I will pay them well and pay my spies even better. Those who make it a duty to collect bribes will face the consequences of the law. And my fellow nationals and patriots, you too must stop giving bribes. If you are caught, I can assure you of 10 years imprisonment.
For our politicians, your salaries will be reduced significantly. You will be the least earners in government from hence forth. All that money for constituency projects you’ve been usurping will seize. You will have to give account, penny for penny of the money given to you for projects in the past.
For job creation, I can assure you that by the end of my first tenure of the two terms which I am certain you will vote me in, we would have arrived at 40 million new jobs, 10 million every year. If Nelson Mandela did it, Barrack Obama did it, Sun Tao Chi did it, I will do it.
Our institutions of higher learning will change shape. From hence forth, no citizen is allowed to travel abroad for studies or whatsoever. We are closing our countries entry and exit points for the next four years. We are going to build our home technology with our home science, we will increase the number of universities in our first year to take in as much students as should be offered admission and then we will focus on technology and science. Any professor above 60 years is now considered surplus to the polity. Give way for the new generation.
My government will constitute vibrant young and talented men and women who are capable to deliver my set down targets right on schedule. There won’t be excuses.
There won’t be an opportunity to steal our nation’s wealth because I will ensure that I place my psychotic liberal spies in every office of finance to watch what comes in an out. Already, about one hundred thousand of them are undertaking training under the meanest hands in Russia.
Those boys who have gained repute as Boko Haram, you are now Haram. I assure Nigerians that within the first two days of my government, Boko Haram will seize to exist. They will disappear from the Nigerian sphere. For those bedeviling neighbors, Chad, Cameroun, Niger and Benin, I am raising what will be known as my International force Squad to instill some sense of respect for our nation. We don’t need weak people friendly leaders, we need strong handed leaders.
My passion for education is second to none in the world, myself an educationist of repute. Our primary schools will be institutions not comparable to any around the world. We will raise the standard of primary and secondary education and be the ones to whom even America and Britain will look up to as model. Our primary schools will be centers of technology incubation, creativity and genius. Every child must go to school.
We will have to develop home grown techniques in food production. We are stopping importation of agriculture products immediately and taking up the development of our own agricultural science which was transferred through generations and remodeled for efficiency using today’s technological knowhow. Everyone must have a garden in his house and a farm in our very large expanse of land left for agriculture.
My housing policy may seem weird but it’s for the betterment of our land. Because our land resources are depleting, we have developed a surer path towards having a sustainable land resource. We are banning land sale with immediate effect while we now support very creative methods of new housing. We need high-risings sprawling our cities. For these reason the government has taken it upon her to ensure that all interested new developers must follow the new building codes. To this effect, all building foundations must be built to ensure it takes at least ten storey buildings. My government will take the responsibility for the foundations while interested builders will build on each level or floor.
I hear the lawyers are fast becoming radicals. Don’t worry about that. I am now the chief judge of the federation.
Those crooks in the armed forces that do not have a sense of responsibility, I will teach them our nation have got strong response ability in me. All officers from the rank of brigadier general are now under order to go on compulsory retirement. In the Navy, officers from the rank of captain must follow suit. For the Air force, the rank of air commodore and above must retire.
Those clerics who think they can be radical, I am most radical and very radical when I am forced to the wall. But I am loving and jovial, caring and welcoming. I am the perfect democrat.
Our hospitals which have become dead traps will be rejuvenated. I assure you that all our doctors abroad who have made name for themselves will be forced to return home. They will return to upturn the mess they left our nation to go through after the challenging learning procedures we had to put them through to become what they are today. Our nation deserves the quality of doctors leaving our shores. They must come back home.
I don’t mind keeping political criminals. Politicians who choose to go gaga must be dealt with forthright in a gaga manner as well. Let me assure you that once everyone follows my orders, all will be well. However, if you don’t, you will dine in one of my cells scattered in over one hundred towns and cities in this great nation.
Those who lack sense of order, I am order. You must follow due process and sequence. No one is above the law, I am the law.
In the next four years, after all I will put this nation through; there will be a new Nigeria, one we won’t have to wait for any longer and one with a sustainable poise towards achieving great things.
Let me assure you of my vehement resolve to position this nation amongst the top four nations in the world in the next four years. In me, you can consider it as done.
I am your humble president, ready to serve.
God bless Nigerians, God bless Nigeria
Prof Ebele Obasanjo Buhari
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