When in 2015, we saw our dear politicians dancing to local tunes all over campaign grounds across this nation, we had assumed their action was just some comic relief to help Nigerians do away with the supposed stress that had characterized life prior to then. We assumed Nigerians were about to enter into another happy era and God was only blessing us with happy leaders.
Nigerians have been known for enjoying good doses of
laughter despite the economic realities that had faced us as a nation. This
perhaps had been one of the reasons we were once rated as the happiest nation
one earth. We probably have a good
number of comedians to stir up that side of us and they’ve been internationally
renowned. What Nigerians had no idea about was that the best comedians weren’t
our fantastic Ali Baba, Klint da Drunk, Holy Mallam or any of the other names that
we are familiar with. We’ve just realized that in reality, Nigeria’s best
comedians are in Aso Rock.
The recent House of Representatives budget spending probe
has exposed not only a can of worms, but also has brought to light a group of
fantastic comedians that we never knew could give Nigerians world class relief.
Our President Mr. Mohammadou Buhari, the leader of the gang
has done a great job at the helms of affairs in the last few years as
president. To have been able to manage these comedians with whom he has worked
with for the last few years, he probably is the master comedian. No wonder
throughout his first tenure as president, he released spasms of comic relief
that not only got Nigerian audiences laughing away, but he also captivated the
international audience. Even Mr. Donald Trump could note that at least there
was someone who did better than he does at political comedy.
And now, Buhari’s mentees are doing what their master has
taught them to do, make Nigerians laugh. And they seem to be turning better
comrades at political chancery.
All is not over yet at the Niger Delta Development Commission
NDDC but this man turned all heads around when he acted out his fainting script
perfectly. Remember Prof Pondei Kemebradikumo the acting managing director. You
certainly will remember him fainting before the probe panel of the House of Representatives.
This man who had been so well all these years just became ill two weeks to
probe. My brother had to fake a fainting scenario to shield himself from further
questioning. Who will not faint when asked to defend how he spent N40 billion
that he did not really spend but dumped into a bunker in a house somewhere in
his village? The last is not yet heard of his book of comics. Nigerians will
get to see more acts from this man as investigations continue.
How about the Uncommon Akpabio? How Mr. Uncommon, whose
goofing has been well known back in the days as Governor of Akwa Ibom, and as
Senator, will turn the uncommon corruption warrior is what is turning many
heads. The man has been trying had to lay bare the facts about the NDDC and the
ministry of the Niger Delta with his own probe and audit. And then when he said
that some House of Representative members were privy to some of the bad
contracts, Nigerians were thinking, this was an audacious move. But when asked
to release the list of House of Representative members involved in this deals
by the Speaker of the House of Representatives Mr Femi
Gbajamiala, he shrank. The man said “no I did not say that”. When it seemed the
House of Representative members were going to court against him, he released a
list that till today is still controversial. He is currently facing several
court cases. This comedy he is acting may turn out to hunt him.
See Rotimi Amaechi o! This comedian just
stole the show like that. When did Amaechi become a Grammarian? He kept
Nigerians asking if this Amaechi wasn’t the same Amaechi we have always known.
Simple answer that he should have given to the questions the probe panel were
asking him, he was turning round and round, with English that we cannot find in
the dictionary.
Is Amaechi a Nigerian? Maybe he is a Camerounian.
Nigerians are concerned about our sovereignty as a nation. We don’t want to be
controlled by China in the name of Chinese loans. And we do have reasons to
fear seeing Zambia and other African countries have been on the wrong end of
bad loans from China. Instead of him explaining the details of the loan, he was
cocky and heady, claiming that the probe won’t stop them from collecting the
loan. How far? That man has something he is hiding from Nigerians. And must we
survive on loans?
Mr. Ngige has not been known for too much
talk but this time around, it seems the comedy spirit has entered into the man.
The man was running his mouth and his mouth was too fast that he seemed to have
lost control of it. Trust Nigerians, we did not understand him.
Simple question that Ngige should have
answer, “tell us how you spent the budget of your ministry?” he turned to
attack the questionnaire. That’s a fallacy. “You want to attack me?”Ngige had no
premise for that question. He wasn’t under any attack; he should have answered
the questions he was asked like every minister gentleman before him. What was
Tinubu’s business with the chairman of the probe panel? Who was even talking
about age? Just so that he would dodge the questions thrown around him, he
smartly threw tantrums at Faleke the Kogi Agbero, the “gentle ” chairman .
Wetin concern Mushin and Victoria Island with the probe question? Or was Tinubu
influencing the panel there to have been dishonoured that way by Ngige. Ngige
too claims to be agbero from Victoria Island, Lagos. Na wa o for this Igbo
Agbero! These Agberos in Abuja should return to Lagos, Abuja is too cold for
them.
Mr. Lai Mohammed’s will not stop giving
us laughter drugs. He has been notorious for never coming plain with issues affecting
this nation. The man always seems to have a lie under his sleeves and Nigerians
are not anymore curious about what he has to say. You’d by now have noticed
that he has slowly lost his voice as the front man speaker for this government.
Now who seems to speak for the president and the government more often these
days is the president’s Personal Assistant on media.
Nigerians are probably expecting too much
from this government. We should have known from the onset how the picture would
have painted when during the campaigns, the president was caught dancing around
town with his cronies, Baba Tinubu, Lai Mohammed and the likes. It is no
surprise that Nigeria is a comical tale seeing that our leaders are still
dancing “op n dan” with poor policies.
What we can only do now is pray that we
are not sold off. The way things are going, It seems that we may wake up one
morning to see that everything that was once Nigerian may be in foreign hands.
A new era of colonialism!
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